What Self-Care Means to Me

Mid-PhD studies (2018) I was beginning to feel burned out. I had started realizing that I was losing work-life balance. Self-care became the frequently discussed topic. From social media to health/fitness blogs to personal development literature, the majority of my 2019 was dedicated to finding balance. People talk about how to improve their physical, mental, and emotional health to achieve a more happy, joyful life. I, too, have had many discussions about self-care with my family and friends, as well as my community.

Redefining Self-Care for an Evolving Me

Today, I have realized that self-care is really about taking care of yourself. This means a whole lot more than the occassional dinner with friends and a recurring spa day! Now it means prioritizing those things that matter – the things that make life fulfilling and rewarding, not just about work.

Once I finished graduate school (read about the journey here), I gained a lot of time. With that opportunity, I created time to repriorize taking care of myself – mind, body, and soul. I describe some of my self-care activities below.

Physical Health Improvement Activities

I initiated a fitness routine, creating a way to de-stress.
- In 2021, I endured a loss sense of self. I was at my heaviest weight because food became an emotional comfort blanket. I was grieving the loss of my grandma, figuring out my place in Corporate America, and redefining who I was now that everyone was calling me “Dr. Waters”. I started by taking weekly walks at a local park (this was achievable!). The walks turned into Youtube Step classes, which turned into me googling where I could find a local personal trainer. I landed at Hardbat Athletics with Coach Shawn as a trainer. Shawn encouraged me to start with 2 days/wk and that evolved into me consistently working out for 3-4 days/wk. I started bravely joining CrossFit classes, lifting weights, but most importantly, feeling more confident in my body. I learned how to respect my body in a new, productive way.
An improved diet is not just about food, but everything you consume.
- When people think “diet” they immediately think about food. But dieting is about much more! It is about everything you consume – what you eat/drink, watch, and listen to – it all matters. Self-care is about discipline. And I promise, this one takes a little practice. I continue to learn how to selectively choose what is best to consume for my physical and mental well-being.
I built a primary care team, healthcare providers that could help me understand genetic factors that impacted my physical health.
- Black women struggle to find healthcare providers that really believe them. It is also difficult to find Black doctors that understand the genetic and cultural influences that impact our health. I had conversations in graduate school with a friend, Dr. Jariah L. Strozier, discussing these concepts she describes in her dissertation. Many Black people are faced with health ailments like diabetes and high cholesterol. By building a primary care team, I was able to understand any genetic predispositions I had and how I might be to prevent them from impacting my quality of life. Prioritizing your health is critical to promote a healthy lifestyle.

Mental/Emotional Health Improvement Activities

I spend time reading books, building an active online book community.
- Reading is one of my favorite pastimes, hence the reason I started The Leisure Library on Instagram (@theleisurelibrary). I spend time reading to learn more about self, build community, and just plain ol’ enjoyment. Interested in learning more about what I think are advantages of a good reading habit? Read this post! Reading helps me to generate broader perspectives and simply relax.
I deleted social media apps for peace!
- Since watching a few documentaries about social media impacts on mental health I turned off my notifications years ago. In September 2024 I decided to delete social media apps from my phone. For the last few months, I’ve been “social media-free”. The noise of the world has been muted and I have more confidence to just be. Social media has the potential to create false realities, generating clouds you must clear. It takes practice (and a whole lot of discernment) to decipher the truth from the lies. It causes people to unfairly compare themselves to others for the sake of external validation instead of boldly leaning into uniqueness. By drawing healthy boundaries around social media I have been able to be more authentic and vulnerable with the friends and family I spend time with in-person.
For many years journaling has been a way for me to self-reflect.
- I spend so much time writing in my journal. Matter of fact, I learned from a very young age that I was much more articulate with writing than speaking. Putting the pen-to-paper allowed me to think through my words and ensure authenticity. Even re-reading past entires allows me to learn from all of the past versions of self. Journaling generates a safe space for me to learn about myself and essentially get the thoughts out of my head.

Closing Thoughts

Life is busy, but taking care of yourself is necessary! A few years back I had a limited perspective of self-care. Even today I’m sure I could hone my self-care skills even more. Since investing in myself, I have found my voice, boosted my confidence, and found freedom. Comparison is the thief of joy. By focusing on self-care activities, I have been able to find the courage to keep being myself.

Whenever you realize that you are putting others first (all the time), remember to take time to pour into self. I encourage you to think about how you define self-care. Life is much too short to carry the weight of the world while ignoring yourself. I am hoping your days ahead are filled with improved self-care practices.

Until next time…

Dr. Crystal K. Waters