Have you ever felt stuck in life? I’ve been there, too. Replaying the same routines but not really advancing. I refer to it as the hamster wheel. We all have our version of the hamster wheel – some mental block preventing us from trying something new and releasing the comforting monotony. Maybe that mental block is nothing more than FEAR?! I have decided to face my hamster wheel, because why not? But believe me, thus far it hasn’t seemed like an easy feat. A huge part of facing fears and leveling up requires growing pains (ie. maturity).
I have decided to give myself time to grow and, more importantly, dream.
We are all on a journey, searching for something. I have realized that in most cases we are looking for two things – identity and purpose. It is what most of us are trying to figure out most of the time. We want to understand the “WHY” to our existence. There are times we lose focus on what catapults us forward and instead get stuck chasing something in hopes that finding it makes us happy.
I am not a person that sits around waiting for opportunity to find me. I like to think of myself as one that prepares, having faith that one day an opportunity specifically meant for me will find me. Knowledge is power! While I was on my digital detox, I read Leveling Up by Ryan Leak. I definitely recommend the interactive read to anyone interested in asking themselves the tough questions. It requires a great deal of self-awareness and honesty, but encourages the reader to find their own voice, challenge their personal limitations, and level up.
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Below are a few personal takeaways from the book Leveling Up by Ryan Leak.
1) Let go of “perfectionist pressure” – you cannot do it all. Rest is not weakness; actually, it is fuel for our mental and physical strength.
For years, I was one of those people that equated “rest” to complacency. This mindset is evident if you look at all of the success milestones through my academic journey. Just think, I graduated high school and literally the next day moved into Spencer dorm at UNC Chapel Hill. Fast forward to my PhD dissertation defense, I defended and exactly one week later started my position in industry. All of the major success milestones were met with instantaneous change – the chapter closed and I physically moved on. The positive impact of this constant forward-thinking was that I became good at adapting to new circumstances and resiliently overcoming challenges.
The not-so-great outcome of this thinking pattern is that I did not fully take advantage of how beneficial rest is to the mind and body. After reading this section of the book, I really had to ask myself, “What perfectionist pressure do you feel? And, where is it coming from?” I consciously know that no one can do it all, but somehow I rationalize that I can do almost everything. Hahaha – it never works out that way. I’ve learned that I have to give myself grace.
2) Never forget to give credit where credit is due. Acknowledge the mentors and friends that have supported and encouraged you along the journey.
We each should define success. And do not get weary thinking that success is out of reach. My definition often evolves with the phase of life I’m in. For example, while I was at Virginia Tech my version of ultimate success was to have my PhD before age 30. Now that I’m a few years into my career, my perspective on what “success” looks like is different. So after you envision your definition of success, think of the people you know that may be able to support you in achieving that goal.
In high school, it is easy to despise group projects. Mostly because someone wants to be dead weight – do absolutely nothing but still get a “team-effort grade”. Life is like the ultimate group project though. When you find good people that are supporting and encouraging your dreams and goals, make sure you give them a shout-out when you achieve those goals. Not to mention, it is always great to return the favor. Remember to ask others, “How can I support you?” We need each other!
3) Exude intellectual humility. Everyone has a perspective to share and no one knows everything.
In graduate school, one of the first things I learned was how to say, “I don’t know” with the absolute most confidence. Those 3 little words are almost a rite of passage into your degree candidacy. As I have matured as a scientist and person, I have realized the bliss of ignorance and the duty in knowing. Sometimes it is the simplicity that makes concepts so difficult to accept.
Exuding intellectual humility provides you the opportunity to hear new perspective. As a faith-based person, I believe that the Creator can give us knowledge and wisdom using anything and anybody. Accepting that someone else may know more than you gives an opportunity to learn another strategy to win at this thing we call life.
4) Take time to celebrate your wins! You deserve it, plus it is a great way to show gratitude for the present.
I have not been big on celebrations. I don’t know when it got to be this way, but I am not one to have huge celebrations for graduations, anniversaries, or birthdays. But what’s stopping me? It is a constant fight to choose wisely in the present, respecting the discipline required to be your best future self, while honoring the resilience of your past self. Nevertheless, I have accepted that it is totally worth the fight – it’s time to LEVEL UP!
Dr. Crystal K. Waters 
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